One summer in my early twenties I worked for the park service in the middle of nowhere Washington. We lived on a government compound in the woods with no cell service. If you wanted to talk to someone or hang out you had to walk over and knock on their door. It was one of the best times of my life.
I get such a high when people text me back without apologizing for the delay!!!! If it’s urgent I will call. If it’s an emergency I will come find you lol.
You can never get enough of a thing that never ends...what a profound sentence. I live in a place without cell reception and it is a massive gift. I relate to so much of this post, thank you.
I use "airplane mode," sometimes for a few hours, sometimes for a few days, though I confess that I have grown addicted to watching individuals leap from great heights and execute acrobatic flips until they hit the water 100 feet below. My reaction is always the same... I mutter, "Holy shit!"
“I realized I don’t want my friend—or anyone—to apologize for being away from their phone again. I don’t want someone to feel bad if the social load is overwhelming, or if I am currently one long-distance relationship too many. I have other friends who can love me in the interim.“
You can never get enough of a thing that doesn’t end. 🤯
I have been thinking of this SO MUCH lately based on how not being an immediate responder to stuff has affected my life and relationships driving me to the point of almost complete "Fuck it." It's a long story. Maybe I'll email you and you can respond to me for Christmas and we'll both be happy. 😆
You've probably seen this classic, also from the magnificent Melissa Febos:
Thank you for sharing and articulating all of this, Sky. As someone who's completely overwhelmed by life these days, I have become unable and honestly disinterested in "keeping up" with my phone messages, calls, etc. I've tried to communicate to friends that I'm too busy to function and yet...I feel a guilt and shame, like all my friends are taking it personally or are disappointed in me. Reading your post makes me think and hope that maybe some people in my life will actually understand it and be happy that I'm prioritizing other things.
What I love most about my friends taking eons to text me back—emergencies and crash-outs aside—is the idea that even if they aren’t lounging in a shady patch of a Mexican beach with Mango juice dripping down their forearms, I know they’ve reclaimed agency over their own attention span and accessibility.
Taking one's time responding should not be something we need to apologize for, it should simply be the status quo. I have been practicing NOT apologizing for my lateness in responding, and trusting that the response (from me) will come to me when I am ready to respond.
This is too good. Melissa's quote is so spot on. Also, Joy's photos of you with the blueness of the denim contrasting against charcoal and bubbly texture of the rocks, is *chefs kiss.*
You mention something here that I think about every time I read that instagram is the problem. It is part of the problem, yes, but we also have to take responsibility for our role in it. Technology isn't going anywhere, but the relationship we have with it, is entirely up to us and in our control to change it. This year I started sabbatical sundays were all the apps in my phone are block: instagram, my email, etc and I love to start my week this way, complete present. I love that you are creating that cointainer to help others get into it.
"It turns out that my love language is when my friends are MIA or OOO, even to me."
This!!! Thank you for articulating this. I want all my friends to rest and step away and take their time. I want all of us to rest and step away and take our time.
every time i leave my phone behind for a day or more, i feel more creatively inspired and in control than ever before. reaching for more of that and feeling inspired by this post
"You can’t get enough of a thing you don’t need." whoaa this feels like a game-changing realization for me 😆
It seems like I say this after most of your essays but god, I really needed this. I had a teensy breakdown earlier today which, in typical ridiculous and irrational fashion, was triggered (I think) by someone from my past subscribing to my newsletter.
Thank you for holding space for the big feelings 💙💙💙
One summer in my early twenties I worked for the park service in the middle of nowhere Washington. We lived on a government compound in the woods with no cell service. If you wanted to talk to someone or hang out you had to walk over and knock on their door. It was one of the best times of my life.
Makes me think of a summer I spent working in Sri Lanka. I was too tired from living that I didn’t even think about my phone at the end of the day
I get such a high when people text me back without apologizing for the delay!!!! If it’s urgent I will call. If it’s an emergency I will come find you lol.
You can never get enough of a thing that never ends...what a profound sentence. I live in a place without cell reception and it is a massive gift. I relate to so much of this post, thank you.
I use "airplane mode," sometimes for a few hours, sometimes for a few days, though I confess that I have grown addicted to watching individuals leap from great heights and execute acrobatic flips until they hit the water 100 feet below. My reaction is always the same... I mutter, "Holy shit!"
“I realized I don’t want my friend—or anyone—to apologize for being away from their phone again. I don’t want someone to feel bad if the social load is overwhelming, or if I am currently one long-distance relationship too many. I have other friends who can love me in the interim.“
You can never get enough of a thing that doesn’t end. 🤯
This is brilliant. I love you.
I have been thinking of this SO MUCH lately based on how not being an immediate responder to stuff has affected my life and relationships driving me to the point of almost complete "Fuck it." It's a long story. Maybe I'll email you and you can respond to me for Christmas and we'll both be happy. 😆
You've probably seen this classic, also from the magnificent Melissa Febos:
https://magazine.catapult.co/how-to/stories/do-you-want-to-be-known-for-your-writing-or-for-your-swift-email-responses
I haven’t seen this, thank you so much. For reading, for your sharp mind, for your writing.
Thank you for sharing and articulating all of this, Sky. As someone who's completely overwhelmed by life these days, I have become unable and honestly disinterested in "keeping up" with my phone messages, calls, etc. I've tried to communicate to friends that I'm too busy to function and yet...I feel a guilt and shame, like all my friends are taking it personally or are disappointed in me. Reading your post makes me think and hope that maybe some people in my life will actually understand it and be happy that I'm prioritizing other things.
Left on read ~ my love language
This was so beautiful sky. Thank you
What I love most about my friends taking eons to text me back—emergencies and crash-outs aside—is the idea that even if they aren’t lounging in a shady patch of a Mexican beach with Mango juice dripping down their forearms, I know they’ve reclaimed agency over their own attention span and accessibility.
Taking one's time responding should not be something we need to apologize for, it should simply be the status quo. I have been practicing NOT apologizing for my lateness in responding, and trusting that the response (from me) will come to me when I am ready to respond.
Yas!
This is too good. Melissa's quote is so spot on. Also, Joy's photos of you with the blueness of the denim contrasting against charcoal and bubbly texture of the rocks, is *chefs kiss.*
You mention something here that I think about every time I read that instagram is the problem. It is part of the problem, yes, but we also have to take responsibility for our role in it. Technology isn't going anywhere, but the relationship we have with it, is entirely up to us and in our control to change it. This year I started sabbatical sundays were all the apps in my phone are block: instagram, my email, etc and I love to start my week this way, complete present. I love that you are creating that cointainer to help others get into it.
I love this Liz!
"It turns out that my love language is when my friends are MIA or OOO, even to me."
This!!! Thank you for articulating this. I want all my friends to rest and step away and take their time. I want all of us to rest and step away and take our time.
every time i leave my phone behind for a day or more, i feel more creatively inspired and in control than ever before. reaching for more of that and feeling inspired by this post
"You can’t get enough of a thing you don’t need." whoaa this feels like a game-changing realization for me 😆
It seems like I say this after most of your essays but god, I really needed this. I had a teensy breakdown earlier today which, in typical ridiculous and irrational fashion, was triggered (I think) by someone from my past subscribing to my newsletter.
Thank you for holding space for the big feelings 💙💙💙
I see you!!!