Notes, Scribbles, and Gems
Two interviews, three Chihuahas, and a painting I never finished.
Dear readers,
Today’s newsletter contains two recent interviews with yours truly, and another installment of Things I sent to Bob, my round-up of what I’m paying attention to lately.
I like being interviewed. There is the potential for much to be gleaned when the questions are good. The opportunity to synthesize my thoughts through another person’s curiosity serves as an opening to casually give myself advice or permission. What’s interesting to note is that lately, even when the questions are different, I’m giving myself the same advice everywhere I look: it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. It’s okay not to be perfect or good at literally anything.
I really don’t mean to repeat myself. I’m being honest when I tell you that my covering a lot of the same ground in these interviews was unintentional (perfectionism and beginner-hood). I guess it’s on my mind, I guess it’s what I give a shit about.
An interview is also an opportunity to ask myself a very important question: What do I really want people to know? In hindsight, it seems I just want people to let themselves off of the hook, perhaps because I imagine everyone else is as hard on themselves as I am on myself.
The first interview is part of Tyler Rembold’s zine Cheers, which is available to purchase here. Big love to Tyler Davis for taking these photos of me. I guess none of this interview would exist if it weren’t for Tylers.
The second interview can be found on the ARQ website as part of their FRIEND OF ARQ series. The photos were taken by my friend Joy Newell. Though we’ve been connected for a while, this was my first collaborative project with them. By collaboration I really mean that Joy did all of the work while I stood around in the hot grass talking about flies and whether or not my cellulite was showing.
Two days of wearing underwear in front of a camera, I came away from the experience a different woman — not entirely, but slightly more loving towards and accepting of my body. I was expecting the opposite to be true, given the way I felt at the beginning of our time shooting: apprehensive and self-conscious. But by the end of it, I was waltzing around the ranch in a bra-and-panty set like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Why do I love my body more tonight than I did this morning?” I asked Joy. “Exposure therapy,” they replied.
I generally avoid being naked because of what it asks of me: the voices I have to ignore, the love and honor required to quiet them. Sometimes it really is as simple as doing the thing we prefer to avoid until it loses potency.
Follow Joy’s work on their Instagram. Not surprisingly, they also keep a really good Substack called Truly Spectacular.
Things I Sent to Bob, lately:
This episode of Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris and Christina Feldman is full of wisdom and I can’t stop talking about it. In particular, I love the distinction Feldman makes between having a life intention and a cushion intention (macro and micro aspirations), the idea of no more “neutral people” in her life, and the theory that wisdom itself is found in the space between a stimulus and our response to it.
Another episode of Ten Percent Happier from September, this time with Lindsay C. Gibson, about dealing with emotionally immature people. If there is one thing you listen to this month, I think this is it.
Yes, I’ve been on a listening kick. This episode of Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon and my favorite couple, the Gottman’s. Great for anyone learning about needs and navigating emotional bankruptcy in a partnership (aka all of us HAHA).
This beautiful picture I took of three Chihuaha’s, one of which shared a name with my late grandmother, Tinker.
What else have I been chewing on lately?
This video of Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling winning the Best Kiss Award while they were in a relationship. We’ve all seen it, but sometimes I think we need to see it again in order to feel.
The trailer for Coyote Ugly which I recently re-visited, arguably one of the most influential films in my life, second to Blue Crush.
Taking my first of five pole dancing classes, swimming laps at the pool.
Eating 2.5 to 5 mg of THC a day.
Writing more spells:
This song by Fugazi
This song by Kraftwerk
A painting from 2018 that I never finished:
Love,
Anna
"I want to understand the depths to which I am loved." This gave me chills. A beautiful beautiful spell.
The interview in Mexico… thank you for sharing how you have managed to sidestep the potholes most all of us fall into. It’s very hard to avoid the pressure to fall in line and discount one’s own worth and journey for another’s. It takes great courage. And you do it with such humor and humanity. Love you, keep on truckin!